Things have been going so well the past few days. After our trouble on Thursday, it seems everything is falling into place. Leah is doing so well with her own room and I found something she likes to do and it has given me the opportunity to bond with her. She loves making jewelry with beads and she is very good at it. We have worked together a few times and today I bought her some wire and some more beads and she was thrilled. She has been so wonderful with the girls and playing with them and seems to even enjoy Jacob. We are getting closer and they are both really learning English.
I have been having a little more trouble with connecting with Susha. There have been little ways we have bonded, but she still will not let me help her with anything. That is until tonight. We had a thunderstorm come through and it brought some lightning and loud thunder. Apparently Susha is very afraid of thunder. She came in the room after being tucked in crying and shaking. I helped her and comforted her and we went to see what was wrong and she showed me the lightning. We used the translator on the computer and told her how it is safe and we will protect her. She asked to sleep on the couch outside our room. So after we calmed her down, we tucked her in on the couch. We left the door open to help reassure her and Lloyd had not gone to bed yet. A few moment later a loud crash and a pretty good flash happened and within seconds, I had a little pixie in my bed. I tucked her in and we snuggled until the storm passed. She needed to go to the restroom once, but was afraid and needed me to hold her hand and escort her to the bathroom. It was sweet. She calmed and relaxed next to me and for the first time, I felt like she let me be her mother. After the storm passed, she was able to go back to the couch and was fine, but there are more storms coming, so we will leave the door open.
I hope in the future she will learn to not be afraid of the storms, but for now, I am happy for the experience of being able to comfort her and protect her. Thank you Lord for all the ways you are letting us become a family.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
New bedrooms
Yesterday was a very difficult day. We had some issues that multiplied because the girls were pushing each other higher and higher. Susha was very difficult and angry. I had never seen her like that. I had a very difficult time (have a nice little scar to prove it) and first called my dear friend that is working through similar issues. She is always a blessing and her prayers always give me peace and remind me Who is in control.....
My second call was to my mom. I cried and was so tired and lost and did not know what to do. She let two of the girls stay the night (Chloe and Leah). Leah loved it and Susha was upset. I wrote a letter that I translated that explained that she could not stay the night because she disobeyed in the morning. (Really we just needed them separated for a bit. They are much better separated.) After Susha realized that acting mean turns out to not be in her favor, she was great. Leah was also very good for my mom and it gave Chloe and Leah time to bond and Sarah and Susha. Sarah and Susha decided to clean their room and it was amazing.
Mom drove Leah to school this morning and Susha was perfect without her sister there. It was peaceful and quiet. There was a program at school and Sarah sang and the children all were able to sit with me. It was wonderful. Susha saw Sarah on stage and asked, "That is my sister?" I answered yes and she smiled really big. Leah's classmates started the program and talked about the two new girls in school that spoke Russian and how they were learning some Russian words. They explained how to say, "Please" "Thank you " "I don't understand" and "Hello" in Russian. The girls smiled so big and their eyes were so huge.
After school we had occupation therapy for Jacob and the ladies were able to look at the girls a little. We will need more English before we can start. Then we went to a Mother/ Daughter banquet at my grandma's church. It is a small church and there were probably 25-30 ladies there, but one of them happened to be Russian. She was a foreign exchange student, that came back. She was very helpful and translated well for us. We talked about braces and how they hurt a little when they tighten them and phones and many other things. It was great to hear some of what they were thinking.
We decided that it was probably in the best interest of everyone that Leah and Susha not share a room. That way, things can be calmer at bedtime and there will not be loud Russian in the room where the little girls are trying to sleep. So we cleaned out the office (mostly; my crafting and sewing are still in there.) and put Leah's bed and dresser in there. They came home from school and Leah LOVED her room. She was thrilled. I tried to explain that the sewing and crafting was in there just until I could figure out a space for it, but she put a chair up to the table and said she liked it, this was her spot and that was mine. So after the little ones were in bed, Leah and I made beaded bracelets for her sisters and friends. It was a great night.
I cannot believe how much easier this night was. She even reminded me to pray with her after she asked for a hug. Susha also gave me a big hug and a smile and "I love you"
Nights like these remind me why we did this. I feel so blessed. Thank you Lord for Your strength and wisdom. I know I can do ANYTHING with YOUR help, please keep reminding me that.
My second call was to my mom. I cried and was so tired and lost and did not know what to do. She let two of the girls stay the night (Chloe and Leah). Leah loved it and Susha was upset. I wrote a letter that I translated that explained that she could not stay the night because she disobeyed in the morning. (Really we just needed them separated for a bit. They are much better separated.) After Susha realized that acting mean turns out to not be in her favor, she was great. Leah was also very good for my mom and it gave Chloe and Leah time to bond and Sarah and Susha. Sarah and Susha decided to clean their room and it was amazing.
Mom drove Leah to school this morning and Susha was perfect without her sister there. It was peaceful and quiet. There was a program at school and Sarah sang and the children all were able to sit with me. It was wonderful. Susha saw Sarah on stage and asked, "That is my sister?" I answered yes and she smiled really big. Leah's classmates started the program and talked about the two new girls in school that spoke Russian and how they were learning some Russian words. They explained how to say, "Please" "Thank you " "I don't understand" and "Hello" in Russian. The girls smiled so big and their eyes were so huge.
After school we had occupation therapy for Jacob and the ladies were able to look at the girls a little. We will need more English before we can start. Then we went to a Mother/ Daughter banquet at my grandma's church. It is a small church and there were probably 25-30 ladies there, but one of them happened to be Russian. She was a foreign exchange student, that came back. She was very helpful and translated well for us. We talked about braces and how they hurt a little when they tighten them and phones and many other things. It was great to hear some of what they were thinking.
We decided that it was probably in the best interest of everyone that Leah and Susha not share a room. That way, things can be calmer at bedtime and there will not be loud Russian in the room where the little girls are trying to sleep. So we cleaned out the office (mostly; my crafting and sewing are still in there.) and put Leah's bed and dresser in there. They came home from school and Leah LOVED her room. She was thrilled. I tried to explain that the sewing and crafting was in there just until I could figure out a space for it, but she put a chair up to the table and said she liked it, this was her spot and that was mine. So after the little ones were in bed, Leah and I made beaded bracelets for her sisters and friends. It was a great night.
I cannot believe how much easier this night was. She even reminded me to pray with her after she asked for a hug. Susha also gave me a big hug and a smile and "I love you"
Nights like these remind me why we did this. I feel so blessed. Thank you Lord for Your strength and wisdom. I know I can do ANYTHING with YOUR help, please keep reminding me that.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
"Good Job"
What a difference a day makes. I never know if it is my perspective, or their actions, but this evening was much better.
First Susha was throwing a little tantrum. She was tired and just complaining about everything. I made her sit on her bed, which seems to work well. She was very angry. Leah, was very sweet and helping me. Finally I had Susha in my room and she is pouting and yelling and I just picked her up in my arms and held her like a baby and started rocking and "shhhhing." She melted. She relaxed and let me rock her for 10 minutes or so. Then she was great the rest of the night. So, I found a way to calm the beast lol.
I made dinner and after all the plates were set and we had prayed, I went to sit down and first Susha, then Leah said, in English, "Good job!" I about fell over! It was sweet. We had a great meal and it was very pleasant. Note to self: chicken, corn and potatoes, GOOD CHOICE.
First Susha was throwing a little tantrum. She was tired and just complaining about everything. I made her sit on her bed, which seems to work well. She was very angry. Leah, was very sweet and helping me. Finally I had Susha in my room and she is pouting and yelling and I just picked her up in my arms and held her like a baby and started rocking and "shhhhing." She melted. She relaxed and let me rock her for 10 minutes or so. Then she was great the rest of the night. So, I found a way to calm the beast lol.
I made dinner and after all the plates were set and we had prayed, I went to sit down and first Susha, then Leah said, in English, "Good job!" I about fell over! It was sweet. We had a great meal and it was very pleasant. Note to self: chicken, corn and potatoes, GOOD CHOICE.
School
Yesterday was the start of a new chapter in the girl's lives. They started school. I believe the anticiation of school was much harder on them than school. Leah was not really wanting to go, as she told us at least 100 times on our way. She did go, but was not happy about it. Susha seemed to play off of her.
We spent at least 30 minutes in the office first. The transportation department did not want to add two more to the bus (even though they are already picking up Sarah and Jacob). The principal was great and was trying to fight to get them added to no avail. So for the last 4 weeks of school I have to drive them and pick them up. It is about a 20 minute drive. Lloyd will take them in the morning on his way to work and I will pick them up. We kept our two places on the bus just in case, which has actually proved to be a blessing as I will explain later! So after the mess in the office, we started taking the girls to class. I asked that we put Leah in first because I knew once she was not complaining, we had a chance to make Susha more comfortable. Leah went in complaining how she did not even understand. Her teacher was nice and several girls tried to help her.
As we walked to the other end of the school you could see Susha getting a little nervous, but she softened without the influence of her sister. She slipped her hand into mine. (and put her thumb into her mouth). I reasurred her and when we got there her teacher came out and was very nice and we talked a little and a sweet little girl came up and showed Susha to her desk. She hugged me good bye and smiled.
I checked throughout the day and was told they were really doing well. When I picked them up Susha's teacher told me how great she did. They had a little trouble with Leah (wanting to retreat to the hall), but overall she was good as well. The kids all thought they were the neatest things and they made many friends.
So we get into the car and Susha is telling how fun school was and what she ate and her friends and what they did. She had some homework. Leah was complaining that they just said "no,no,no,no" Lol, I wonder why.... After the conversation back and forth, Leah informed me that she wanted to go into Susha's class. Later, with the aid of the translator program, I explained that because of her age, they would not allow me to put her in 3rd grade and how her teacher is just as nice, Susha just had a very good attitude and did not yell at everyone. And how if Leah went to school with a good attitude, she would also have fun. It was her choice.
I had to explain it again, because she had an attitude in the morning and was making Susha not want to go to school. I took Susha asside and with the computer program explained that Leah is just scared and there is no reason to be, because noone will hurt her. And that if Susha lets Leah give her a bad attitude, she will not have a good day either. It seemed to help for a bit until we left the room and Leah started talking to her again.
So, I gathered up Susha, Jacob, and Sarah and took them to school and let her ride with Lloyd. Susha was great in the car and gave me a chance to reassure her. Lloyd also said that as soon as Susha left, Leah was good.
So new plan! (Here is where it may have been a blessing that we only have two spots on the bus....) Susha and Jacob are morning people, they need little sleep. They wake early and are ready to go. Sarah and Leah need as much sleep as they can get or they are very grumpy. So we will let Susha have Sarah's spot on the bus and let Jacob and her ride the bus in the morning and as soon as they leave, we will wake the other two up and drive them to school. Susha will not have to hear Leah complaining and Leah will have noone to complain to and school will start out much better!
Some times the little things we fight against, are really God trying to bless us. I fought so hard for the bus seats. I thought it would add so much stress to my life, trying to drive them to school, BUT it seems it may have been the best possible answer.
What is so funny is that is what the girls do. They fight us so much and we just want what is best for them and to love them and to bless them, but every step of the way they fight our blessings. It is very hard and frustrating and then I think this is EXACTLY what we do to God. He sent His son, sacrificed Him for US, for the world, that laughs in His face, curses Him, and denies Him. Yet He still loves us and would do it again. Just as I still love these girls and will continue to fight (even against them) to do what is best for them.....
We spent at least 30 minutes in the office first. The transportation department did not want to add two more to the bus (even though they are already picking up Sarah and Jacob). The principal was great and was trying to fight to get them added to no avail. So for the last 4 weeks of school I have to drive them and pick them up. It is about a 20 minute drive. Lloyd will take them in the morning on his way to work and I will pick them up. We kept our two places on the bus just in case, which has actually proved to be a blessing as I will explain later! So after the mess in the office, we started taking the girls to class. I asked that we put Leah in first because I knew once she was not complaining, we had a chance to make Susha more comfortable. Leah went in complaining how she did not even understand. Her teacher was nice and several girls tried to help her.
As we walked to the other end of the school you could see Susha getting a little nervous, but she softened without the influence of her sister. She slipped her hand into mine. (and put her thumb into her mouth). I reasurred her and when we got there her teacher came out and was very nice and we talked a little and a sweet little girl came up and showed Susha to her desk. She hugged me good bye and smiled.
I checked throughout the day and was told they were really doing well. When I picked them up Susha's teacher told me how great she did. They had a little trouble with Leah (wanting to retreat to the hall), but overall she was good as well. The kids all thought they were the neatest things and they made many friends.
So we get into the car and Susha is telling how fun school was and what she ate and her friends and what they did. She had some homework. Leah was complaining that they just said "no,no,no,no" Lol, I wonder why.... After the conversation back and forth, Leah informed me that she wanted to go into Susha's class. Later, with the aid of the translator program, I explained that because of her age, they would not allow me to put her in 3rd grade and how her teacher is just as nice, Susha just had a very good attitude and did not yell at everyone. And how if Leah went to school with a good attitude, she would also have fun. It was her choice.
I had to explain it again, because she had an attitude in the morning and was making Susha not want to go to school. I took Susha asside and with the computer program explained that Leah is just scared and there is no reason to be, because noone will hurt her. And that if Susha lets Leah give her a bad attitude, she will not have a good day either. It seemed to help for a bit until we left the room and Leah started talking to her again.
So, I gathered up Susha, Jacob, and Sarah and took them to school and let her ride with Lloyd. Susha was great in the car and gave me a chance to reassure her. Lloyd also said that as soon as Susha left, Leah was good.
So new plan! (Here is where it may have been a blessing that we only have two spots on the bus....) Susha and Jacob are morning people, they need little sleep. They wake early and are ready to go. Sarah and Leah need as much sleep as they can get or they are very grumpy. So we will let Susha have Sarah's spot on the bus and let Jacob and her ride the bus in the morning and as soon as they leave, we will wake the other two up and drive them to school. Susha will not have to hear Leah complaining and Leah will have noone to complain to and school will start out much better!
Some times the little things we fight against, are really God trying to bless us. I fought so hard for the bus seats. I thought it would add so much stress to my life, trying to drive them to school, BUT it seems it may have been the best possible answer.
What is so funny is that is what the girls do. They fight us so much and we just want what is best for them and to love them and to bless them, but every step of the way they fight our blessings. It is very hard and frustrating and then I think this is EXACTLY what we do to God. He sent His son, sacrificed Him for US, for the world, that laughs in His face, curses Him, and denies Him. Yet He still loves us and would do it again. Just as I still love these girls and will continue to fight (even against them) to do what is best for them.....
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Great and bad days?
We have had mostly good days since we have been back. There have been 3 really bad days. One was the day we enrolled them in school. The other was the day I had to go to a court house for a matter related to my first adoption. The 3rd day was today. They know they are going to start school tomorrow, and I am sure that makes them anxious. It is very frustrating for me though. We had a great day and they got to go to a birthday party after morning church and everything seemed fine, but then the evening just went downhill.....
The end was the worse. The girls were telling me that Sarah or Chloe took Leah's gulf ball (that they begged from a lawyer at the courthouse). The girls said they didn't. We looked all over the house and they were complaining and complaining. We looked everywhere. Leah was pouting and pointing at the little girls and yelling at us. They then started complaining about Chloe watching one of "their" movies. I had already explained that I bought them for everyone, a concept that they just cannot seem to understand, or just do not want to. Then they managed to yell in Lloyd's face and laugh at him. Oh and then Susha found the ball under Leah's bed. She clearly realized she made a mistake, but when I mentioned the need to apologize to the little girls, they would have none of it.
I just hate how such a great day can end so badly over something so little. I realize the bigger picture is the anxiety about school, but it is so hard to deal with when you are tired. I know this will get better, but I am so tired. They have not got the idea of how to clean anything (well Susha will clean her room). I feel like a slave, constantly cleaning after them. I hand them cloths to put away and find them laying on the floor in the room. I put clothes in the drawers to come in and see they have decided to look through them and put them all on the floor. Leah's favorite word is "I don't want to" I am very surprised that she has not learned that in English yet........
Please pray for strength and knowledge for us to know how to deal with it. I need respect, but I also understand this is not a normal situation.
The end was the worse. The girls were telling me that Sarah or Chloe took Leah's gulf ball (that they begged from a lawyer at the courthouse). The girls said they didn't. We looked all over the house and they were complaining and complaining. We looked everywhere. Leah was pouting and pointing at the little girls and yelling at us. They then started complaining about Chloe watching one of "their" movies. I had already explained that I bought them for everyone, a concept that they just cannot seem to understand, or just do not want to. Then they managed to yell in Lloyd's face and laugh at him. Oh and then Susha found the ball under Leah's bed. She clearly realized she made a mistake, but when I mentioned the need to apologize to the little girls, they would have none of it.
I just hate how such a great day can end so badly over something so little. I realize the bigger picture is the anxiety about school, but it is so hard to deal with when you are tired. I know this will get better, but I am so tired. They have not got the idea of how to clean anything (well Susha will clean her room). I feel like a slave, constantly cleaning after them. I hand them cloths to put away and find them laying on the floor in the room. I put clothes in the drawers to come in and see they have decided to look through them and put them all on the floor. Leah's favorite word is "I don't want to" I am very surprised that she has not learned that in English yet........
Please pray for strength and knowledge for us to know how to deal with it. I need respect, but I also understand this is not a normal situation.
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