Just thinking

I was just sitting here thinking. It is so hard waiting and I know there is so much waiting left to do. I just want to be able to tuck her into bed. To hug her, to wipe away tears. I have such a new found respect for parents that adopt this way. With Sarah, she was in my arms while we waited. I tucked her in every night. I always had the thought in the back of my mind, that they could come take her at anytime, BUT I still had her there.

This is so hard. The more I prepare and see pictures, the more I am falling in love with this little girl I have never met. I want to take care of her. I want to be her mom and she doesn't even know it. We get to meet her the end of the month and I am so excited, but it will be so hard not letting her know I am her mom. I understand the need to wait, I would hate for something to happen and her to be let down. She is sitting over there alone with no idea there is an entire family over her loving her.

The children are talking about her alot. We got a video of her and it was wonderful. They are getting to know her a little too. Jacob said today that he wants to play dinosaurs with her. Sarah wants to play house and Chloe wants to play babies. Every morning Sarah asks if we are going to get her today. I guess they are getting impatient too.

I really could use prayers for comfort in this. It is hard feeling like a mother and not getting TO mother.